


You Can't A-Freud This Meeting

by TheCreatureFromBeyond



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-30
Updated: 2015-03-30
Packaged: 2018-03-20 09:25:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3645177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheCreatureFromBeyond/pseuds/TheCreatureFromBeyond





	You Can't A-Freud This Meeting

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cassiopite](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cassiopite/gifts).



It started with a coincidence.

Rose Lalonde had been wandering slowly through the dark hallways of the meteor - exploration one of the only ways she can assuredly be by herself again. Not that she minds the spontaneous social encounters that had have become so common. She loves spending time with (and carefully analyzing) her friends. As is known to those with more intimate relationships with her, she needs a break every good while - a time all to herself when she can relax. Even the secretly co-dependent Kanaya has to allot her what she calls “Decomposition time”.  
So as rose ambled along, thinking of stories and experiments and nothing in particular, she was unprepared for the gnarled and worn figure of Gamzee Makara to come crashing out of a nearby vent. He rolls himself up, coming to a momentary halt as he locks eyes with her.  
Motherfuck. He hadn’t planned for Rose to be here. He needs to book that shit after visiting Karkat - he doesn’t have any time to deal with THIS bitch! Eyes darting around him, Gamzee quickly finds another vent. He has time for only one more glance at the surprised Lalonde before darting back into the walls. Lord help his wastechute protectors should Kanaya be nearby.  
Rose simply stands there, sense scrambling to re-configure themselves after she had been so suddenly torn from her thoughts. That was Gamzee. He had only stayed in her sight for a matter of seconds, but she’s positive it had been the paint-clad purple blood.  
She hasn’t ever caught him unawares before. Sure, she’s talked a bit with him here and there, but it always seemed like he had intended for the interaction to occur, rather than allow it. And his expression…  
She shivers. Gamzee’s mostly kept to the shadows, never letting his full visage to be seen. Perhaps now she has an inkling as to why.  
A terrible amount of sadness had lurked there. In that single, naked moment, she saw a fear that she hadn’t seen before; a primal fear that shone through his eyes. Rose always imagined him a rather sinister character - someone whose mind revolves around corruption. Yet for an instant, he was vulnerable. Weak. Almost pitiful.   
Though Rose forces herself back to wandering, focusing on the alchemical uses of ink and salamander spit, she can’t shake the thought of that clown crawling about the vents. How much does she REALLY know about him?

 

 

“Rose?”  
Glancing up from her knitting (one can never have too many scarves), the Seer of Light greets Kanaya with a smile. The gorgeous as-always jade blood stands before her, wielding a pair of scissors and a small pile of books.  
“I’ve Brought The Double-Edged Cutting Utensils You Requested, As Well As Some Reading Material I Found.”  
“Thank you, Kanaya.” Rose sets her needles aside to accept the items. Ever since she mentioned her interest in Alternian customs and romance, Kanaya has brought her every scrap of literature pertaining to romance she can find. Honestly, the troll was so cute sometimes. “What are these about?”  
“Well, The Book On The Top Is A Satire Pertaining To The Relationship Between The Kismesis And Matesprit Of A Highblood.” she explains, lighting up a bit as she talks. “I’m Not Quite Sure If You’d Be Able To Glean As Much From That Piece, As The Humor Bases Itself On More Classic Alternian Cliches…”  
“Sounds like a challenge.” Rose grins, placing it aside. “What about this one?”  
“Ah.” The troll gains a hint of jade to her cheeks, eyes wandering to the wall. “That Particular Novel Is… Well… On The More Notorious Side… It Details An Auspice And Kismesises Attempting To…” She lowers her voice. “Cross Quadrants.”  
“How scandalous. And ‘The Folly of Musclebeasts?”’  
“That One Is My Personal Favorite Of The Collection. A Very Old Story About Moirails Who Go On A Musclebeast Hunting Trip. They End Up Revealing Their Deepest Fear With Each Other, And Are Tested On Their Ability To Trust Their Partner.” Kanaya sighs contentedly. “A Definite Must-Read For Any Pale Couples.”  
Rose lets out a quiet “hmmhmm” as she examines the book. Pale…  
“Kanaya?” Rose asks as she scans the cover. “Which romance type is ‘pale’ again? I vaguely remember it having to do with balancing the social structure…”  
“That’s Relatively Correct. The Pale Quadrant, Known Officially As Moirallegiance, Belongs To The Conciliatory Half Of Troll Romance, Which By Human Standards Is Considered The More Platonic Of The Quadrants. Moirallegiance, Or The Possibility Of Appears Between Two Trolls When Either One Or Both Trolls Begins Exhibiting A More Eccentric Tendency. This Is Commonly Expressed As A Surplus Of Aggression, Chaotic Actions, Or General Tomfoolery. Their Counterpart Must Neutralize Such Tendencies, Lest They Suffer The Social Ramifications Of Said Behavior. Moirallegiance Is Defined By This Cooling Of Malicious Throes.”  
“So it’s like your best friend.”  
“Well, That Would Be The Roundabout Way Of Putting It.” Kanaya crosses her arms, trying as best she could to capture this “sarcastic” tone that keeps evading her efforts. “I Don’t Suppose You Prefer MY Explanations Posterior First?”  
“No, no, Kanaya, you’re fine.” Rose chuckles. “So it’s based on pacifying unhealthy behavior, or ‘balancing out’ your partner. Hmm.” Her eyes glaze over slightly as she thinks. Perhaps experimenting with moirallegiance would do the trick…  
“Rose?”  
“Yes?” She snaps back into focus, looking up to her friend. Kanaya’s eyes are cast down, a suddenly more worried tone trickling through her.  
“Are You… Perchance… Looking For Another Quadrant To Be Filled?” Her hands toy nervously with each other as the jade blood’s demeanor begins to crack. Kanaya has not been privy to many a fruitful relationship.   
“Oh, Kanaya.” Rose sighs, setting the books aside and standing. She often forgets her partner’s delicacy when it comes to others. She’s usually so sure of herself. “There’s no need to worry. I’m just a little caught up in my head right now, is all.” Her pale hand brushes against Kanaya’s cheek, causing the rainbow drinker to glow a bit.  
“Y-Yes, I Know. I Just Get A Tad Anxious Sometimes.”  
“What, you think I’m raring to go involve myself with Karkat?” Rose grins. “You can’t blame me for being taken by his overpowering masculinity.”   
“Oh Dear.” Kanaya holds a laugh behind her palms. “Whatever shall I Do To Combat A Rival Such As He? Perhaps I Should Brush Up On My Pouting Skills.”  
A distant “I HEARD THAT” sends them both unto a cacophony of stifled laughter. Dave would later come to find the two giggling to each other on the sofa.

 

 

Four and a half hours. Rose sighs, wondering to herself for the umpteenth time why she’s STILL waiting. She fully expected her patient to dally for quite some time, which is why she brought a handful of light novels with her, but she’s not about to here all day browsing through mediocre troll romcoms.  
Just as Rose was reaching the 31st wacky misunderstanding that would surely ruin the matesprits’ relationship for good, a metallic CREEEEEEEEAK resounds behind her. She turns just in time to see a short figure with big gangly hair and polkadot pants drop to the floor.   
“… I don’t suppose you could have used the door?”  
“heh. SHIT, MOTHERFUCKER.” Gamzee cracks his stretching his limbs as he adjusts to a standing position. Despite the deep chuckle, it looks like it’s been a while since the purple blood actually laughed. “it ain’t like this bitch is covered in clocks an shit. I’M ALSO KINDA MOTHERFUCKIN SKETCHY ABOUT HAVIN A CHAT WITH A BROAD WHO’S BUCKIN IT WITH A GODDAMN RAINBOW DRINKER WHO WANTS MY HEAD.”  
Rose takes a deep breath, closing her book. “Slanderous comments aside, I called you here today, if it still IS today anymore, because I want to have a chat with you. Not hand you over to my… good friend.”  
She motions to the couch across from her, which elicits no particular response from Gamzee.  
“and what shit exactly do you want to be motherfuckin conversin about with me?”  
“Just sit down and I’ll explain.”  
He narrows his eyes, stepping not towards the couch, but to Rose. “I’M NOT SURE WHO THE SHIT YOU THINK YOU BE TALKING TO.”  
Rose stares evenly back at the clown. The fear, of course, is still there - she’s just more attuned to the ways of the mind than to let it control her. “I know exactly who I’m talking to, Gamzee Makara. Now please have a seat.”  
For a moment, the two remain locked to each other. One could hear a miniscule-fabric-skewer drop. Then the purple blood seems to relax back, a bit impressed by her fortitude.  
“WELL. i ain’t gonna be the first motherfucker to shoot down some civil-ass verbage.” He slips around her, sitting but not reclining on the sofa. “NOW WHAT THE SHIT. are we talking about?”  
“Well… you, mainly.”  
“me?” A look of confusion and disgust crosses his face. This ain’t really his motherfucking subject of choice. “WHAT THE NOOK-HUMPIN HELL DO YOU WANT TO KNOW ABOUT ME?”  
Rose bites her bottom lip as she considers the clown. Getting one’s subject to open up about themselves is one of the biggest social hoops for an aspiring psychologist to get through. “You’re not doing well, Gamzee. I don’t care if the ‘subjuggulator’ subculture or troll social dynamics claim otherwise - you are not mentally stable.”  
From somewhere deep within him, a thick wave of malice begins to flow from the purple blood. His expression morphs to a quiet boil, a low growl entering his voice. “you had better. be fuckin with me. candy blood.”  
“Calm down. I’m not referring to your behavior.” Rose quickly retorts. Losing ground here could be very dangerous. “Besides my obvious distain for how you’ve hurt my friends, I know such… destructive tendencies are natural for your kind. Your blood caste, rather. That’s not what I want to talk about.”  
“… hmm.” Hearing her words, the bard’s fury recedes back, and his expression softens. “GOOD. it’s a pain in my wastechute when goddamn non-believers be spinnin illusions about the messiah’s holy motherfuckin wickedness.”  
“Right.” Rose lets a funnel of air out of her mouth. Well, carbon dioxide, but who’s counting. “What I’m noticing that troubles me is something more… internal. I won’t assume to know what’s going on, but there’s a certain fear in you that, as I’ve heard, hasn’t been there before. There’s this self-hatred I can-“  
“you goin pale for me?”  
“H-huh?” She’s not used to being broken from her flow, he can tell.  
“IF YOU WANTED TO INITIATE A FEELINGS JAM UP IN THIS BITCH, YOU COULD HAVE JUST MOTHERFUCKIN SAID IT.” S Trace of humor hangs from his words, though as before, his eyes remain cold. “it’s not really your role, but shit, i can play along.”  
“I want… I want to help you, Gamzee.” Rose murmurs. The mood of the room instantly shifts, catching him off guard for once. “Besides my interest in the quadrants and my desire to analyze every little piece of your head… I really just want you to get out of whatever horrible phase you’re in. I KNOW you can’t be unhurt when the people you’ve been with your entire life have to separate themselves from you. ‘Mirthful righteousness’ aside, you’re in real pain. I may have not known you for very long, but I can’t stand watching you suffer by yourself anymore.”  
For three full minutes, not a word is uttered. The two stare into each other’s eyes, drinking in the unspoken words passing between them. Then, for the very first time that Rose has ever seen, Gamzee smiles. It’s a weak, tired smile. One that tells her he knows. One that tells her he’s thought and thought and thought and thought and came up with nothing. A lump forms in her throat.  
“Gamzee…“  
“thank you.”  
“Gamzee, I can help you…”  
“you know that’s not how this motherfuckin goes down, Rose.”  
“Even so, there has to be-“  
“ENOUGH.” The clown stands, face hidden by his mess of hair. “thank you for tryin.”  
He doesn’t give her time to reach out, to stop him. She can’t get any closer to him. Not her. Not right now. Only a single, pink piece of cardstock is left on the table as he launches himself into the vent at speeds too fast for the human eye to process. 

 

DEAR GAMZEE

Greetings from your friend rose. After seeing you so recently in the hallways, I’ve realized it’s been far too long since we’ve had a nice talk just to ourselves. If you would join me on the 13th at 7ish, which should be 5 days since I left this letter in the vents, I think we could have spend quality time together. Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone else about this. It’ll be our little secret. ;)

Sincerely, Rose Lalonde.


End file.
